D-Blog Week Day 5: Foods on Friday

Today we are to talk about food and share either what we ate in the last couple of days, a recipe or meal idea.  I decided to share my go to meal after a hard workout session.  I crave this after a good, long sweaty workout and rarely deviate.  It is simple but delicious.

2 eggs & 1 egg white, whisked
1/4 cup cheese (I like feta)
chopped onion
chopped pepper
chopped zucchini
spinach
salsa

Grill up the veggies, except for the spinach, together.  Add in egg mixture.  Add Spinach once half way cooked.  I like to cook mine so there is absolutely no goo left (gross).  Throw salsa on top and voila - delicious!

I will usually have this with an apple and some almonds.  Satisfying and tasty!

D-Blog Week Day 4 - Changes

Today’s topic is Changes.  Today let's talk about changes, in one of two ways.  Either tell us what you'd most like to see change about diabetes, in any way.  This can be management tools, devices, medications, people's perceptions, your own feelings – anything at all that you feel could use changing.  OR reflect back on some changes you or your loved one has seen or been through since being diagnosed with diabetes.  Were they expected or did they surprise you?

The obvious change I would like to see is for Diabetes to disappear overnight, never to return.  That would be my ultimate dream come true.  Since that is unlikely I had to think hard about what bothers me most and how I would like to see it change.  

I would like to change peoples perceptions and attitudes towards the disease.  On that note, here are the top things I would love to never hear again:

• Are you sure you have Type 1 diabetes?  Weren't you a bit old to get that?
• Is it because you ate too much sugar?
• Sorry, I would offer you a piece of this but I know you can't eat it.
• Can you eat that?
• So does that mean you can never eat sugar again?
• So your insulin pump must be great, does everything for you!
• Did you hear that eating lots of cinnamon might cure you?
• My friend's aunt had her leg amputated and went blind because of Type 1 diabetes, you need to be careful.
• Does that mean you can't have kids?
• I read about cleanses you can do that will cure you.
• You make it look easy, it must not be too serious.
• You must have the bad kind if you need to use needles.
• I could never be diabetic, I am scared of needles and hate blood.

As I was typing this list I could feel my blood pressure mounting. The list could actually take up pages upon pages. I know that all of the above sound so cliche and we have all heard them before. It is amazing that people think and say these things.  I do my best to try and educate, but sometimes I want to just drop kick people.  I particularly get mad when people suggest I try certain diets to cure myself, or assume I cannot eat certain things.  

There are so many misconceptions about Type 1 diabetes and it is extremely frustrating.  I think that as people living with the disease, we often try to hide how serious it really is.  It is hard to admit sometimes, but this disease is very serious and we are all responsible 24 hours a day, every day, to keep ourselves alive.  It never gives us a break and is always at the front of our thoughts.  

Change is definitely needed!  

D-Blog Week Day 3 - Clean It Out

Today’s topic is Clean it Out.  Yesterday we kept stuff in, so today let's clear stuff out.  What is in your diabetic closet that needs to be cleaned out?  This can be an actual physical belonging, or it can be something you're mentally or emotionally hanging on to.  Why are you keeping it and why do you need to get rid of it? 

I like the idea of keeping my diabetes in a closet! It would be ideal to shove it away in a dark closet in the basement and forget about it.  However so far this is not possible (if it is let me know). 

I am not too bad at keeping my supplies in order. I have enough lancets to last me a lifetime and at least 6 glucometers lying around.  I can pretty much guarantee that nearly every corner of my house has a used test strip lurking (seriously – those things get everywhere).  My fridge is stocked with the insulin I need for a month at a time and I have extra lantus pens just in case.

The one thing I do need to clean out – the clutch I carry around that has my strips, lancet, glucometer and tube of glucose.  From the outside it is a pretty purple clutch with that fits perfectly in my purse.  However look inside and it is pretty horrendous.  There are blood spots everywhere! It looks like I drag my pricked fingers across it each time I test. I have a bad habit of just throwing my used strips in the bag when I am out and about to dispose of later.  I am sure if a stranger peeked inside they would be horrified and maybe be sick in their mouth just a little.

Maybe now that I have shared this with the online community I will do something about and clean it out! (When I get around to it, sometime, in the next year or so…).

D-Blog Week Day 2 - Keep it to Yourself

Today’s topic is Keep it to Yourself.  Many of us share lots of aspects of our diabetes lives online for the world to see.  What are some of the aspects of diabetes that you choose to keep private from the internet?  Or from your family and friends?  Why is it important to keep it to yourself?  

I would say that I am pretty open with most things related to Diabetes.  I share stories of good experiences and bad.  I am happy to talk to anyone about it and never feel the need to hide my disease.  This morning while I was swimming, alone with my thoughts, I thought about the one thing I rarely, if ever, talk about or share.  

Ever since I can remember I have for some reason felt the need to appear strong and together, even when I am not.  I have always had a hard time expressing the negatives I feel deep down as I don't want to burden or worry anyone.  A lot of the people in my family have so much on their plate and I don't want to add to it. So that brings me to addressing this topic briefly.  

The one thing I rarely share is how scared of this disease I really am.  Plain and simple it terrifies me.  I know this sounds somewhat dramatic and I assure you it is not something I dwell on 24/7, but deep down it is there.  

I find that when I try to vocalize this fear the response I get is usually along the lines of "But you are so healthy" or "You take such good care of yourself". While these things may be true, Type 1 diabetes often does not pay attention.  Since been diagnosed three and half years ago I have suffered with a lot.  Insulin Neuritis which rendered me pretty much incapable of functioning, two emergency cataract surgeries and damage to my teeth and gums. I still experience pain in my feet, numbness in some toes, my teeth are an ongoing project and since diabetes is a pretty big jerk, celiac disease was invited to the party as well.  All of this contributes to my fear of what is going on inside and what may happen in the future.  On top of this are the regular daily fears of a person living with Type 1.  Fears about going low in the night and not waking up or going low while running/biking/swimming and not being able to help myself...and the list goes on.

That is about all I want to write on the subject for now as it causes me anxiety and I really don't want to hear "It'll be okay".  I find it easier to focus on the positives and when the fear creeps in, give myself the time to feel it, think about it and move on.

D-Blog Week Day 1: I Can

I am excited to participate in this year's Blog Week.  I have had every good intention of blogging more and then.... well, I don't.  So here we go!

Today’s topic is I Can.  In the UK, there was a diabetes blog theme of "I can...”  that participants found wonderfully empowering.  So lets kick things off this year by looking at the positive side of our lives with diabetes.  What have you or your loved one accomplished, despite having diabetes, that you weren't sure you could?  Or what have you done that you've been particularly proud of?  Or what good thing has diabetes brought into your life?  

I love this topic as it is so positive.  As a person with Type 1 diabetes I have found that often the positives get shoved aside to focus on the negatives. Don't get me wrong, there are a hell of a lot of negatives, but surprisingly a lot of positives as well.  I have accomplished and learnt so much in the last three and a half years and could write forever.  However today I choose to focus on what I am in the middle of accomplishing now. 

I still think back to when I was diagnosed and my first Endo told me that I would have to give up my passion for long distance running and triathlon.  I was devastated.  Even talking about it now is hard. I then suffered terribly with Insulin Neuritis which made even walking difficult.  I truly hit rock bottom.  As things in my nerves improved and I found a new medical team I started the slow road to running again. I began to see a light and kept running towards it.

Fast forward to today, May 2015.  I am seven weeks out from my first Half Ironman!  I hired a coach who has put together a training program for me.  Each week she uploads my workouts and away I go.  The training has been aggressive (for me) and has certainly pushed me out of my usual comfort zone.  I was nervous going into this not knowing how I could handle dear diabetes, but so far so good.  There is always that extra challenge, sometimes things go a bit sideways, however I can always pick-up where I left off. If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would be training for this race I would never have believed you.  I think that the fact I have Type 1 is what is driving me to do this.  I want to prove to myself that I can do this.  You know what?  I CAN!